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Gotta Have It

Ever watch "Seinfeld"? It's an extremely funny show, but the characters are among the most shallow ever written for television. Every major player is constantly searching for companionship, sleeping with this one and that, but ultimately coming up empty.

Amazing, isn't it? You'd think they'd figure it out, but I guess if they did, the show would have to end! Anyway, it always seems like the characters start dating someone they really like, only to find something small that annoys them to no end. The size of their hands. They way they talk. The manner in which they eat peas (I'm not making this up!) It's like they are on a quest to find the "perfect" one; one that match their list.

So they dump the whole relationship and move on to the next mattress. In other words, Jerry, Elaine, George and the gang have a mental list of "gotta haves" for whoever they date. And it's a mile long. What about you? What are your "gotta haves"?

Throw Away Your "Gotta Have It" List

Many Christian singles have a set image of their perfect mate. Short, tall, blond, brunette, lean, muscular, funny, serious…the list goes on. But God has His OWN image of your perfect match. It's all under His control-IF we let Him have it. A "gotta have" list does nothing but takes the control from God and puts it back into your hands, where it ultimately leads to frustration.

Now, aside from the "gotta have" list, there is another mental list that can actually help you in your search for a meaningful Christian relationship rather than hurt. When my friend Kenny was a single Christian, he had such a list. It wasn't so much a "gotta have" as it was a "don't want".

For example, a few of his more serious relationships had been with girls who were smokers. This contributed to a 10 year off and on smoking habit of his own. But when Kenny quit, he knew he didn't want to date a smoker ever again. That went on his "don't want" list.

"Don't wants" protect you from things that can be destructive, while "gotta haves" establish a mental precedent that may never be met, resulting in disappointment after disappointment. Kinda like the "Seinfeld" crew. But while it's funny when they do it, it's not so funny when it happens to you. Do you have a list? Do yourself a favor right now and give it over to God. Submit to His authority over your life and let Him direct you to right person.

You'll be happier and more fulfilled in your relationship, and God will bless you in ways you've never dreamed of. And hopefully, you'll watch less sitcom reruns and have a better social life!

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