6 Essential Tips To Writing A Better Online Dating Profile
by David Wygant, Date to Win Publisher
Over the ten years I’ve been coaching men and women, I have been coaching people in all facets of dating.
This includes coaching people in how to date Online . . . I’ve been teaching people how to date Online since it began.
I have always believed that you need a balance between meeting people Online and meeting people “offline,” because nothing is ever going to work 100% of the time. You need to learn how to be really good at both Online and offline dating.
What I’ve learned and realized about Online dating is that to be truly successful, it is essential to be able to write an amazing profile. Most men have no idea how to write a good profile. They write a profile from a guy’s point of view. When a woman reads a profile like this, it actually does nothing to make her want to contact him.
You need to bring your dynamic personality into your Online profile. Instead of just writing “I’m an accountant and I love what I do,” be more dynamic and say something like “I have always loved crunching numbers, but I do it creatively so no one gets in trouble with the IRS.”
Online and offline are exactly the same – you need to be fun and flirtatious in both situations. You know when you ask someone what they do for a living and they answer with “I’m a lawyer” or “I’m an accountant.” Where do you go from there?
If you instead answer that question by saying “I creatively massage numbers so my clients don’t get in trouble with the IRS,” it leads to a more engaging follow-up conversation.
When writing your profile, think about everything you’re writing like a conversation. If the “conversation” you’re writing would be interesting in person, then you’ve done a good job of profile writing. If not . . . then you need to keep re-writing your profile.
Your Online dating profile is as important as putting up good pictures. Women want to be able to get excited about contacting you. If you’re just throwing up some information and expecting women to respond to your profile, you will fail in Online dating.
Online dating is extremely competitive. The men who have the best profiles are the men who consistently get dates. The men who know how to write clever emails to get a woman’s attention will consistently get the dates.
With that in mind, here are my six essential keys to writing a winning profile:
1. Your profile must create emotions. Instead of writing “I love to travel and see new places,” try writing it this way: “Traveling is my passion. Whenever I take a trip to another country, I learn something new about myself and I appreciate my life even more. When I was in Thailand checking out the Buddhist temples, I was able to not only see history but feel history.” What this does to a woman reading this profile, is create an emotional attachment.
When you write about your love of travel as a story, she can picture visiting Thailand or traveling with you. If you just describe something by putting it in a list, you’re not going to create an emotional attachment for her. Women are emotional beings, and they are the ones who will be reading your profile. So learn to create stories when describing your passions.
2. Don’t say in your profile that “My friends say I’m a wonderful person.” I’ve seen men do that countless times. You don’t let women know you’re great by telling them that your friends think you’re great. This doesn’t tell a woman anything. She doesn’t know who your friends are, so you are better to talk about things you love to do. This allows women who read your profile to think you’re great . . . which is your objective.
For instance, a client of mine volunteers at a homeless shelter once a week. So in his profile he wrote “My Saturdays are my favorite day of the week. I volunteer at the local homeless shelter and spend three hours helping others feel better about themselves.” Something like this shows a woman what type of person you are . . . and that is what she wants to see.
3. Don’t tell women in your profile that you’re funny – show them WHY you’re funny. For instance, I live in Los Angeles and I hat the traffic there. So, in my Online profile, I wrote: “Just when you think you’ve seen everything in LA, you get on the 405 and see someone driving 80 mph texting and plucking their eyebrows at the same time. Now that’s something I need to learn!”
What you’re doing is making fun of yourself and making a joke. As a guy, you don’t pluck your eyebrows . . . you may text, but you don’t pluck. Women are attracted to humor. So get a woman to laugh when she reads your profile, because your profile should get her to feel like she’s flirting with you in her head.
4. Never say in your Online profile how confident and successful you are. Women hate men who brag about themselves. It actually turns them OFF. They are, however, extremely attracted to very confident men. So instead of bragging about yourself, say something like this: “I’ve worked really hard in my life to become who I am. Every time I’ve fallen down, I’ve dusted myself off, checked out my wounds, gotten up and tried again. Being successful to me means having the freedom to do what I want . . . which of course is having time to hang out with you.” By saying something like that, you’re telling a woman that you’re successful but humble. You’re also throwing a little bit of humor in there which also helps.
5. As for photos on your profile, they MUST be clear, up close, and recent. Women need to see your eyes, so it’s really important that you are not wearing sunglasses in most (if not all) of your photos. It is also essential that you choose pictures that show your face and your body, so women can see what you look like overall.
Your pictures are part of what makes or can ruin a good profile. Your pictures should also help to create a feeling of emotion inside a woman. Don’t put up pictures on your profile of you and your buddies drinking or any picture where you can’t see your eyes.
Stay away from pictures of you and your buddies drinking. Women are not looking to hang out with a frat boy. They don’t want to hang out every Friday night in a bar sucking down shots with you and your buddies. Instead, why not put up a picture of you volunteering, or how about a funny picture of you cooking for a dinner party?
Put up pictures that show that you have interests in activities other than alcohol consumption. A woman wants to know you are fun and social, but she also wants to be able to picture having a good time with you. Choosing a picture of you biking in Italy, therefore, meets this desire and will create emotion in women.
Women are not looking for a partner in crime on a bar stool . . . they are looking for a partner in crime in life. Those drunken pictures will turn women off, not turn them on. Women want a man . . . not a manboy. So look through all your pictures and select ones that will paint a picture of who you are as a person. This includes putting up photos of you in different life situations.
For instance, you may put up one picture of you in business attire, one picture of you in play mode, and one picture of you with your dog. Also, try to include clear photos that show you participating in your favorite activities, such as hiking, biking or playing tennis. Just make sure not to select “distance shots” showing you at the top of the mountain but in which you are too small to see clearly. Use only close up shots here so women are able to see YOU.
Your pictures should show women all the different sides of you, and the pictures of you that you put up on your profile should represent who you are at this stage in your life. So what I suggest is that you have a friend of yours take some new photos of you. If you write a fantastic profile, but your pictures don’t match, a woman will be disappointed when she meets you.
6. Be honest in your profile! A lot of men will massage the truth in their profile. The major problem that occurs when men are less than honest occurs after you’ve gone out on a date with a woman. She will go back after the date and re-read your profile to see if there are any discrepancies. It’s almost like she is looking to see if you’re as real as you appear to be. So make sure everything you write in your profile is totally representative of who you are right now in your life.
Your profile is designed to help women form an opinion about you. Written correctly, your profile will entice her to contact you immediately. Women re-read profiles over and over again because they want to get to know who you are and they want to get excited about meeting you. The more you put in your profile that expresses your personality, the easier it is for a woman to decide to email you because she’ll have a better idea of what to talk about with you.
If you ever look at the women who have viewed you, you are looking at women who will contact you, email you and who will read your profile over and over again – even after she meets you. That’s why being honest in your profile is so very important.
Online dating is very competitive. In order to stand out amongst the sea of men who are Online, you need to invest the time necessary to create a great profile.
While a great profile is essential to successfully dating Online, it is also only one piece of the equation. Another day I’m going to write a piece that will give you five fantastic ways to grab her attention in the very first email.
Now that you have her attention online you will need to make an entrance.